At some point, most of us pause and ask ourselves a version of the same question.
Is this actually the life I want?
It might come during a difficult period — a job that’s lost its meaning, a relationship under strain, a health scare that reorders your priorities. Or it might arrive quietly, in an ordinary moment, as a low-level sense that something is slightly off. That you’ve been busy, productive even — but not quite present. Not quite yourself.
That feeling often has a name. And it isn’t depression, or anxiety, or burnout — though it can travel alongside all of those.
It’s a disconnection from your values.
What Are Values, Really?
In everyday language, “values” can sound abstract. Corporate values. Family values. A word that gets used a lot and means different things to different people.
In a counselling context — and particularly within Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the most well-researched approaches in contemporary psychology — values have a very specific and practical meaning.
Your values are not goals. They’re not things you achieve and then tick off a list. They’re the qualities you want to embodyas a person — the kind of partner, parent, friend, professional, or community member you aspire to be. They’re directions, not destinations.
Research consistently shows that when our actions are aligned with our values — when we’re living in a way that reflects what genuinely matters to us — we experience greater wellbeing, resilience, and a sense of meaning, even in the face of difficulty. Conversely, when there’s a significant gap between our values and how we’re actually living, that gap tends to show up as dissatisfaction, restlessness, or a quiet but persistent sense that something is missing.
The good news is that gap can be closed. And it starts with clarity.
Introducing the Values Workbook
Our Values Workbook is a practical, guided resource designed to help you do exactly that — get clear on what genuinely matters to you, and take meaningful steps toward living in accordance with those values.
This isn’t a personality quiz or a list of buzzwords to choose from. It’s a structured, reflective process that takes you from exploration through to action.
Here’s a taste of what you’ll work through:
🔍 Discovering What Truly Matters to You
Before you can live by your values, you need to know what they actually are — and that’s less obvious than it sounds. The workbook guides you through a series of thoughtful exercises designed to help you distinguish between the values you’ve genuinely chosen and the ones you’ve absorbed from others, from habit, or from a life lived on autopilot.
🪞 Reflecting on the Person You Want to Be
There’s a powerful clarifying question at the heart of values work: Who do I want to be? Not what do I want to have, or achieve, or be seen as — but who, at my core, do I want to be in my relationships, my work, and my daily life? The workbook gives you space and structure to explore that question honestly.
🧭 Using External Tools to Deepen Your Clarity
Alongside its own exercises, the workbook incorporates a curated set of external resources and tools to help you identify the values that resonate most deeply. These aren’t generic — they’ve been selected for their practical usefulness and their grounding in evidence-based practice.
🚶 Taking Committed Action
Identifying your values is only half the work. The other half is the doing. The workbook includes practical guidance on how to translate your values into committed action — concrete steps you can take in your daily life to begin closing the gap between who you are and who you want to be.
🔄 Revisiting and Evolving Your Values Over Time
One of the most important things the workbook emphasises is this: values aren’t fixed. As you move through different seasons of life, your values may shift, deepen, or expand. The workbook encourages you to return to this work periodically — treating it as an ongoing conversation with yourself rather than a one-time exercise.
Who Is This Workbook For?
The Values Workbook is for anyone who wants to live with more intention. In practice, that includes:
- People who feel busy but somehow unfulfilled, and aren’t sure why
- Those going through a major life transition — a career change, a relationship shift, retirement, becoming a parent — and wanting to approach it with clarity
- Anyone doing personal development work or therapy who wants a structured companion resource
- People who’ve heard about ACT and want a practical introduction to one of its core components
- Anyone who simply wants to understand themselves a little better
You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from values work. In fact, some of the most meaningful insights come when life is going reasonably well — because that’s when we have the space to actually ask the deeper questions.
How to Use It
The workbook is designed to be worked through actively — with pen in hand, not just eyes on the page. We recommend moving through each activity in sequence and giving yourself genuine time to reflect on your answers, rather than rushing to fill in the blanks.
That said, life is rarely that tidy, and the workbook is flexible. If a particular section speaks to where you are right now, start there.
A Note From Me
Values work sits at the heart of almost everything I do in the counselling room. Whether I’m working with someone navigating anxiety, processing a significant loss, struggling in a relationship, or simply trying to figure out what they want from the next chapter of their life — the question of values is almost always present.
When people get clear on what genuinely matters to them, something shifts. Decisions become easier. Relationships feel more grounded. Even difficult emotions become more manageable, because they can be understood in relation to something meaningful rather than experienced as random noise.
This workbook is my attempt to bring some of that process to you in a form you can work through in your own time, at your own pace.
If you’d like to explore your values with some guided support alongside the workbook, I’d be glad to work through it with you. You can reach me at john@sunnycoastcounselling.com.au or book a session online — in person, via Zoom or Teams, or by telephone.
Get Your Copy
The Values Workbook is available now through the Sunny Coast Counselling online store for just $9.90.
For the price of a coffee, you get a structured, evidence-informed process for one of the most important questions a person can ask themselves: Am I living the life I actually want to live?
👉 Download the Values Workbook here
John Belchamber is a qualified counsellor and the Managing Counsellor at Sunny Coast Counselling, based on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. Sunny Coast Counselling offers individual counselling, couples counselling, Employee Assistance Program (EAP) services, and wellness seminars — available in-person, via Zoom/Teams, and by telephone.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need immediate support, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or call 000.