The Three Choices We Always Have in Life
Life is full of challenges, unexpected twists, and moments that test our patience, resilience, and strength. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, we always have three choices: accept it, change it, or leave it. Recognising these options helps us gain perspective and take control of our lives, rather than feeling trapped or powerless.
1. Accept It: Finding Peace in Surrender
Sometimes, we face circumstances we cannot change, things that are beyond our control, such as the past, other people’s actions, or life’s inevitable hardships. In these moments, acceptance becomes a powerful choice.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or resigning yourself to misery; it means acknowledging reality as it is and making peace with it. This can reduce stress and frustration, freeing up mental and emotional energy for things we can influence.
For example, if you’re dealing with a difficult colleague at work, you may not be able to change their behaviour. But you can accept their personality, adjust your expectations, and choose how you react to them. Practising acceptance often leads to inner peace and emotional resilience.
However, sometimes the situation we find ourselves in means that we cannot change no longer accept it, this is often when individuals and couples decide to come to counselling, thankfully. In these instances, you have two further choices,.
2. Change It: Taking Control of What You Can
While some things in life are beyond our control, many situations can be changed if we take action. Whether it’s improving our health, working towards a new career, or setting boundaries in relationships, change is possible when we commit to it.
Taking action requires courage and effort, but it can lead to growth and empowerment. If something isn’t working for you, ask yourself: What can I do to improve this situation?
For example, if you’re unhappy in your current job, you might explore new career options, develop new skills, or have an honest conversation with your boss about your concerns. Even small changes can create a ripple effect that leads to a better future.
WIth couples, I find that it is never just one person that needs to change, finding a way to stay together always involves both people making changes.
Some times, you might decide that you are not prepares to make the changes in order to stay in the situation you’re in. In that case, there is one other option.
3. Leave It: Knowing When to Walk Away
There are times when neither acceptance nor change is the best option, in this case the healthiest choice is to walk away. Leaving doesn’t mean failure; it means recognising when something no longer serves you.
Whether it’s a toxic relationship, an unfulfilling job, or an environment that drains your energy, choosing to walk away can be an act of self-respect. It’s about prioritising your mental and emotional well-being over fear or obligation.
For example, if a friendship is consistently one-sided and emotionally draining, you may choose to distance yourself rather than constantly trying to fix something that isn’t working.
Keeping Life in Perspective
Understanding these three choices: accept it, change it, or leave it can help us navigate life with greater clarity and peace. Instead of feeling stuck, we can evaluate each situation and make a conscious decision about how to respond.
When we learn to embrace what we can’t change, take action where we can, and walk away when necessary, we empower ourselves to live with purpose and intention.
Next time you’re faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself:
Can I accept this?
Can I change it?
Should I walk away?
The answer will guide you toward the best choice for your peace of mind and personal growth.
If you’d like to book an individual or couple’s counselling session, you can book an appointment here